The Naz Affair

 A broken relationship they said is better than a broken marriage but they failed to tell you what is worst than a broken heart. A heart that has over time learned to love, care, beat and yearn for a particular person, suddenly, is being forced to ignore, to pretend like nothing ever happened, to act unbothered around one it once longed for. Heartbreak is embarrassing, in a way people rarely admit. Because while the world continues moving, a part of you stay frozen in moments that no longer exist. You smile in public while privately grieving. You cry your eyes out. Fall sick. Lose your spark. Stalk them online and reread old messages a million times over. It hits deep when you realize you no longer have anyone to share personal thoughts with— how stressful the day at work was, the funny thing that randomly happened, snaps of you, the government's silence on pressing issues, or when you receive a bad news mid work and your eyes flooded with tears, heart heavy and tongue itchy to ...

 “ Life is for the living, you only live once ” — really, do we? I don’t think we live only once. I think we live many lives within one lifetime. We live first as toddlers — tiny humans learning balance, language, trust. Our world is small then: cartoons, scraped knees, bedtime stories, the comfort of being carried. We know nothing about bills, heartbreak, disappointment, or grief. That version of us is innocent, untouched, until then the toddler quietly phase out and the child is born. As children, we begin to dream loudly. We want to become doctors, singers, astronauts, presidents all at once. We laugh carelessly. We cry openly. We believe adults know everything hence, we bombard them with think-out-of- the-box questions. Life still feels soft around the edges. Then childhood fades, and another version of us takes over. Teenagehood arrives with confusion and discovery laced with bravery. Suddenly, identity matters. Acceptance required. We begin to question ourselves, our appearan...

  To some, it creeps in gradually, little by little, consistent changes, ignored patterns that soon explodes. To others, it hits suddenly, below the belt where the pain is sharp and quick. The type that will have you up at three in the morning. Pain does not always announce itself in obvious ways, not the usual raised voices behind slammed doors that comes with exits. No, It is sometimes silent, coordinated, rehearsed and direct, not confusing. It comes with moments of reminiscing about what was and much more, what could have been. It comes with triggers, the type that makes your heartbeat palpitate faster than normal at their far away sight, similar voice sound or even a simple text from them. Not everyone carries it the same way. Some wear it lightly, almost frighteningly calm, as though they had rehearsed the goodbye long before it arrived, waiting for it to arrive. They fold the memories neatly, tuck them away and continue with life as though nothing shifted. They speak about i...